Damn you..

Damn you World for being the sort of place where I have to look my children in the face, with no words to explain – how?, how someone could ever feel so much hatred in their heart that they could open fire on over a hundred strangers.

Damn you World for being a place where my children ask ‘could that happen to us?’ and I, ‘eloquently’, answer “Likely.. ah, No. Er, yes, um..(in truth, you haven’t blossomed yet to the point where anyone could speculate on what you might face?).”

Damn you World for being the sort of place where I am supposed to tell my children that it’s “exciting” that an elderly white man in a beard (who we have never met, and is always ‘watching us’) is going to sneak into our house once we’ve all gone to bed – and that it’s something they should look forward to.. And yet (?!) that there are “other” people in the world who think people loving who they love is somehow “scary”…

Damn you World, because WE ARE ORLANDO; #ibelievelucy;  JE SUIS CHARLIE; I (heart) NYC; I’ve been to concerts in Paris; my friends are Muslims; BLACK LIVES MATTER.

Damn you World, because the answer I gave my children this morning was so insufficient, to simply say, “Don’t worry… And, share hugs whenever you can at school.” Knowing all the while that if I ‘d told the truth, then I could never again have gone to them in the night and consolingly whispered “Shhh, it was all just a nightmare.”

Damn you World because the LOVE I share with another human being is half the reason these kids exist, and I see it as my obligation to -somehow- fight for their childhood(ish?) ‘right’ to the delusion illusion of safety for as long as I may. Similarly, I recognize, to how many other loving parents do also, under even more impossible circumstances in Syria, Lebanon, Ira, Puerto Rico, Somalia, the list goes on..

Damn you World for willful amnesia. Damn you World for tolerating the ability of some to  “forget”.  WE’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE!

Damn you World, because some adults speculate – retrospectively – how children could be naive enough to believe in tooth-fairies and unicorns. Yet they overlook that, as parents, our sanity depends on them believing that the world could actually be ‘more‘ – that it might just be a better place than the one we know today..

Damn me, that before today I couldn’t see my own anger clearly enough to write these words, because Orlando was (by far) not the “first” or the “largest”.

Damn you World, because I know SO VERY MANY beautiful humans here..

 

 

One comment

  1. Annette

    Anyone who has stood in front of a child who asks “are we going to be okay?” Understands where you are coming from. I agree –DAMN THEM

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: